I lay on my back panting, the taste of pussy and regret still fresh on my tongue. Nina may not have been “the one” but she could fuck like nobody’s business. She smiled lazily at me, her blonde hair fanned out on the Egyptian cotton sheets. We were in her hotel room, where we often met when she was here on business.
I’d offered to buy her a drink at a hotel bar in San Diego about six months ago. Nina was a beautiful woman with long hair and bright blue eyes. She worked for a government contractor and often traveled for her job. The night I first met her, she’d looked rigid and unapproachable, cold even, but I saw something there, a side she kept hidden under her professional persona, much like I did.
“Thanks for coming over. I needed that.” She murmured as she stretched out beside me on the bed.
I didn’t respond. Even after all this time Nina and I still knew very little about each other. We’d exchange pleasantries, talked about the weather or occasionally about work but that was it. We’d kept everything simple and uncomplicated. I suppose so when this thing between us ended it wouldn’t really matter much.
“How long will you be in town this time?” I asked, as I sat up and moved my feet to the floor.
I stared at the white curtains in front of me, wondering why I’d come.
“Just a couple of days. I’ve got a few meetings on base and then it’s back to San Diego again.”
I nodded before standing up and walking naked toward the bathroom. I could feel her watching me until I made my way toward the toilet and closed the door. This thing between Nina and I had been easy, a way to release the tension of our lives, but as time went on the lack of connection began to wear on me. I’d spent years fucking women I didn’t love but after experiencing more with Asia, I found it hard to go back. Nina was a nice woman, ambitious and driven, but she’d made it clear she wasn’t looking for anything more than sex.
After flushing the toilet and washing up, I made my way back into the room where Nina was now wearing a robe, facing the mirror and twisting her hair back into a braid.
“How are things with you?” she asked, as the reflection of her eyes met mine.
I knew I needed to tell her how I felt but it was never easy to tell a woman you didn’t want to see her again. Especially after fucking her.
“Can we talk for a minute?” I asked after picking my briefs up off of the floor and pulling them back on.
She turned to face me, a suspecting look in her eyes.
I put my hands on my hips and dropped my head to take a second and collect my thoughts before peering up at her.
“I’ve enjoyed our time together, Nina. You’re a wonderful woman, really.” Her posture softened and her eyes moved to the floor. “I just don’t think I can keep meeting you like this.”
She nodded and glanced at me with a sad smile.
“Did you meet someone?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. I thought this was what I needed but now I know it’s only distracting me from the thing I want.”
Nina straightened her back and when she lifted her eyes to meet mine they were rimmed with tears.
“Love.” She murmured.
I nodded before looking down at the floor, “Yeah.”
Love was the one thing I’d always wanted most and never seemed to get right.