To my readers…

For as long as I can remember I’ve been taunted by a voice in my head. Some may call it self doubt or insecurity but I took it as truth. I believed it.

Every time I wrote something, that voice would tell me that it wasn’t good enough. Writing was just my way of escaping or coping with the world around me and nothing else. None of it was good enough to share, no one would understand it or take notice.

Then one night I was in bed and another voice came. A young woman narrating her story. I tossed and turned, trying to ignore her but she didn’t let me, so instead I crawled out of bed, found a stack of notebook paper and wrote it all down. I wrote for hours on that paper, until I couldn’t write anymore. As time went on, the story progressed and I kept writing. I told myself that it was nothing, just another thing I would keep to myself or perhaps, if I liked it enough, I would share it with a few friends. That helped. It made it easier for me to be honest, to be real and uninhibited because I knew in the end no one would read it.

Needless to say, that isn’t what happened. After months of contemplating and trying to ignore that voice that I’d let guide me for so long, I finally decided to share a part of me with the world. And that is where you come in…

When you picked up my book (or clicked on it) and decided to read it you were holding a part of my heart in your hands. Each page you turned exposed a new layer, another secret I’d been hiding. This art of writing is ingrained in me, it’s been a companion, a shoulder to lean on for as long as I can remember and just the thought of sharing that part of myself was terrifying and exhilarating. I remember the first day of Freeing Asia’s release like it was yesterday. Biting my nails as I watched the reviews being posted, praying that it wouldn’t be a failure, that wouldn’t be a failure. Because to me, this book was an extension of myself. So every nice comment, every compliment was another person telling me that voice in my head had been wrong. My writing was good enough, was good enough.

So how do I thank you for that? How do you thank someone for helping you find yourself, for convincing you that your thoughts deserve a voice? You can’t. No matter what I say, it will never be enough. What you’ve done for me is invaluable. It’s been life altering. My only way to thank you is to keep writing. To take this gift you’ve given so graciously and do everything in my power to get better, to write better… to be better.

So to my readers, ALL of you, please know that the time and effort you spent reading my book was not in vain. It changed me. And I will forever be grateful.

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4 thoughts on “To my readers…

  1. Beautiful Elaine. I think the voice in your head is still wrong however. First, you don’t need to thank us. We should be thanking you for sharing that part of your heart with us. You’re book has given each of us so much enjoyment and has affected each of us as well. Secondly, don’t let that voice put so much pressure on you to be “better”. Yes, we should always strive to be better but we already see you as a great writer. Adding undo pressure to be “better” than before will only make it more difficult for you. Freeing Asia was written with the mind set that nobody would read it so you had complete freedom. I hope for your sake that you feel the same freedom for Breaking Shaun. It will be great because it’s a part of you. You don’t have to change to be better; just keep being yourself 🙂

  2. Oh, Em, that brought tears to my eyes. I enjoyed being there through your journey, listening to you, chatting with you, reading your precious “baby”, obsessing/fantasizing about MY Marcus… 😉 Your friendship means so much to me. I ❤ you, you have a special place in my heart. You inspire me with your determination, strength, perseverance, and your willingness to jump off the cliff, overcome self-doubt, and do what your heart calls for you to do. You have been there for me every time I have needed you. You have talked me through so many of my life's dramas. You are a special soul who I care for deeply. Thank you for being an inspiration… thank you for being my friend. I have all faith in your ability to write all the wonderful books your heart contains. I hope you have an amazing 2014! xx

  3. I have to say that was beautiful writing just from the heart and we can all say so was Freeing Asia for a first book it was brilliant and beautifully written and you deserve everything that your receiving now cause you earn it
    Lots of love and best wishes for this New Year and hope it’s even better than last. Happy New Year x

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